Sorry For the Interruption Folks

We interrupt your regularly scheduled programming with this brief bit of drama *beep* :

Why do you continue to stalk my website? Yes, you. You know who you are. Is your life not interesting enough? Does your douchebag husband not spread enough lies to keep you thoroughly entertained? You're both pathetic & it's time to find a new hobby. The one you're currently fixated on is about to result in injuries & ridicule that I don't think either of you can handle. In case you missed it, it's the big red button with an X at the top right hand corner of your screen. Click it & don't come back, k?! Thanks.

*beep *We now take you back to your regularly scheduled program already in progress :o)

Responsibility: Myth? Part II

Alrighty, now that you've heard my responsibility speech I'll give you the other side of my thoughts :o)

I believe healthcare reform has HUGE potential. I don't agree with everything in it, or what's written between the lines or in fine print. Yes I'm a fine print reader :oP  But if handled correctly it could be successful. Don't get me wrong, it's not going to "fix" America but it may help put us on the right track.

I received a call from my dad yesterday. He'd read my blog & wanted to talk about his thoughts on the reform. There are things that he doesn't agree with and things he does. He is one of the 40 million people in America WITHOUT healthcare. He has diabetes, high blood pressure, anxiety, & has been hospitalized for all 3. For someone is who currently out of work because of our shitty economy & his illnesses, how do you think he'll afford to pay those hospital bills? He can't. He'll sit by & pray that the hospital is kind enough to write it off. He'll try to sign up for disability but that could take years & in the meantime how does he pay his bills? He can't. So many people are currently in his situation across America. We are one of the richest countries in the world & we cannot take care of our sick and/or elderly. Healthcare Reform could help that.

I don't agree with anyone being penalized if they choose NOT to accept healthcare. You see, we are a healthy family. We don't get sick often. There have been times in my life where it was easier/cheaper for me to pay doctor's visits out of my pocket rather than pay for health insurance. It's true. So I can understand why some would choose to go without it. But on the other hand, it's healthcare provided for you, why wouldn't you take advantage of that?

I could sit the whole day & highlight the pros & cons. We could go back and forth. I can see both arguing sides, they both have good points. But in the end what can it really hurt to give this reform a try. If it doesn't work then we'll scrap it and try again. & I'll just end by saying that had we taken greater responsibility for ourselves, our actions or lack thereof, & others, there would be no reason for this debate that has, once again, split our country in half.

I guess one thing I'll never understand is how someone can be so for or against something that they would let their opinions ruin friendships or use it as justification for being simply horrible to other people. Case in Point:

Responsibility: Myth?

So I've been sitting idly by for the past few weeks watching this Healthcare Reform debate escalate into something unbecoming of society. This whole system is fucked. I've read article after article, watched debate after fucking debate, seen FRIENDS get pissed at each other because of differing opinions over this issue, and my words are: It's(America) fucked. Don't get me wrong, I love America & everything it stands for but our government is going to Hell in a handbasket & we are driving the bus.

I believe that somewhere along Society's growth pattern we decided that we shouldn't be responsible for ourselves, that the government owed us. So we've ultimately laid all our problems at the governments feet & said "Fix it". & in turn they've tried to do exactly what we asked. Unfortunately it's left us a bunch of whiny, sniveling brats. The govt now has so much control that many fear our "freedom" is about to become govt ran. We've only done this to ourselves. Ask and you shall receive but there's great responsibility and consequences that follow. Be careful what you ask for.

So the govt did it's best & tried to fix our problems. What we didn't realize is that it COSTS MONEY. We pay more in taxes. Did you think the govt help was going to be free?? So we're taxed to the point that every day life is a struggle. As if it wasn't bad enough when we laid all our problems at the gov'ts door in the first place. So in the end we ALL fucked up. The govt shouldn't have coddled us & handed our fix to us. They should have taught us responsibility, made us responsible for our actions, & gave us the tools we needed to fix it on OUR OWN, without handouts. As a society we should hold ourselves & each other more responsible for our well-being. At what point did we become such selfish pricks?? There are so many people out there who have the means to help other people but refuse. Why? "Those with the ability have the greatest responsibility."

“It is easy to dodge our responsibilities, but we cannot dodge the consequences of dodging our responsibilities.” & this folks, is exactly what we are dealing with today, the consequences of letting someone else hold up our end of the bargain. The gov'ts job includes justice, equality, & an obligation to provide economic stability. Now here's where I may piss a few people off. No where in the list of jobs the govt is supposed to uphold does it include Healthcare. Sorry but it doesn't. It SHOULD include setting up standards for healthcare making it fair & equal for everyone, ensuring that the healthcare system doesn't rip us all a new asshole. We shouldn't be without healthcare because we have a pre-existing condition or we can't afford it. Healthcare should be AFFORDABLE & available for ALL. There should be restrictions put on doctors/specialists/drug companies charges. It should be FAIR, whether it's based on your yearly income or medical needs.

I understand that healthcare is essential. But it comes back to this: America was founded to be a country of free, independent individuals & we've slowly become a country dependent on it's government. The more we ask of them, the more we pay for it. It's time to stand up & take responsibility for ourselves & others. This new Healthcare Reform is NOT going to fix our problems.

Did you know that the most prevalent illnesses can be avoided by simply taking better care of yourself? TAKE RESPONSIBILITY.

FYI: I currently have family members who cannot afford healthcare. These same family members have diseases/illnesses that require constant attention. I am in NO WAY saying that "oh well you should be on your own". I am saying that the government should make healthcare FAIR & AFFORDABLE so the people in need the most can get the care & medication necessary. I will help my family in any way I can because I have the means. I'll pay for the medication, I'll pay the doctor's bills, etc. I am taking responsibility for others welfare. I am taking responsibility of MY OWN by eating better & exercising. It's got to start somewhere.

“We have a Bill of Rights. What we need is a Bill of Responsibilities.” ~Bill Maher

*No worries, this isn't the end of my thoughts, just pausing*

Quote of the Week

I talked to my darling husband this week. Our conversation was a mixture of funny & serious topics. We discussed our future, where we wanted it to go, & what kind of decisions needed to be made to get us there. In the end this was our conclusion:

ME: "I'll follow you where ever you go so it's all cool with me. I just want you home & happy."

My Husband: "Me too. I mean, if I'm not home & happy then I wanna be fuckin' up somebody else's shit to compensate for it."

God I love this man. We think alike ;o)

A Lil FYI

I posted an entry over on JonesHousehold6, if you're interested & you should be 'cause my kids are funny :oP & I've decided to post about our new discipline habits & trying to get back to our "normal", over on JH6 too, basically because it's about us as a family & SHOULD be posted over there. How are you liking my run-on sentences this morning? I've been busting them out left & right :oP So yeah there'll be another blog posted over there today about our progress on my behavior standards or lack thereof. I've found something simple that seems to be working so if you're interested be on the look out for that today.

& at some point I'll get back to posting about my craziness, world issues, deployment, & all the happy horseshit I've been feeling concerning that lately. Fun, fun, fun :o)

One Year Ago Today

This is the moment I drove 18 hours with 4 kids for:

I waited a year, most impatiently, to be held in this man's arms again. To know that he was safely home again on American soil. To Breathe Again. Trust me, living without this man halts my body's ability to function normally. My lungs didn't truly breathe, my heart didn't truly beat, my brain was purely on survival mode. Then he was in front of me, not a daydream but physically there & I came alive again. This entire day is thoroughly seared into my brain, from the moment I woke up, to meeting Bosquez & Janet at the hotel, the car ride onto post, the waiting, the Sundrop, the waiting some more, the buses, formation, searching for his face in the sea of ACU's, his eyes, his lips, the first touch, kiss, his arms wrapped around me, it was bliss. A moment in time that will forever be ours. It's a feeling like no other. Completely Divine. Love.

This is his take on the moment:
"My heart was beating so hard at this moment, I just wanted to stare at you and hold you right there, your hair smelled so good, you felt so warm and soft, and those eyes and my whole being just begging for you to be real, and you were there...finally, God how I missed you, just like now. I miss you terribly and I Love You fiercely!! ALWAYS n FOREVER!!!!"

& here we are a year later & my love is gone again. & MY whole being is screaming for our next homecoming. I am waiting, most impatiently, again but for this man I would wait an eternity ♥

Fixin' My Wrongs

On occasion I take an inventory of my life, a list of pros & cons, things I want to change - make better - grow stronger. I've been doing a bit of inventory lately. I'm realizing that somewhere along the line my life has gotten a bit out of hand. & at the top of my "Damn I'm Fuckin It Up" list are my children. I am certainly not up for a mother of the year award. Now while I don't see myself as a "bad" mother, I DO feel like I have LOTS of room for improvement. I give single mothers a continuous round of applause, I don't know how they do it. A single mother is pretty much how I've been feeling for the past 3 years(a post on this later, promise). It's exhausting.

I love my children. I want the best for them. I wish them happiness, peace, & love in their lives. I realized that, unfortunately, they aren't even getting that at home. How can I wish for my children something that I cannot even provide them myself?

You see I started to overcompensate for my mental instability at some point. I figured if I kept my kids busy they wouldn't notice that my brain was faltering. So we got involved in sports, clubs at school, the Y, children's church, & stayed busy with friends on the days in between. Seriously, we had weeks where we may have had ONE day of downtime, aka cleaning day. I did this with good intentions but remember that saying I tend to use frequently? The road to hell is paved with good intentions.  Well I'm currently tryin' to back track because I'm almost to hell & the road is burnin' my feet :oP  I've made things worse. I've lost touch with my children on some level, don't quite know where but it's there. So I'm determined to fix it & blog about the tools we use & the progress we make.

Happiness, Peace, Discipline, Fun, Stability & Love will be incorporated back into the Heart of this family. Mental Instability be Damned :o)